WHAT YOU EXPECT?

I have been intrigued and bewildered for quite a while as to why so many of us who have so much good in our lives are still stressed, depressed, unhappy.

Think about it. Most of us have an abundance of goods in our lives...cars, homes, tvs, stereos, ipods, blackberrys, paintings, momentos of places been and things done in the past, people we love and who love us, and on and on. Yet many feel stressed, anxious, angry, depressed.

I have wondered whether there was something we were doing wrong, something basic and universal that could explain this emotional paradox. We have abundance of reasons to feel great but we don't.

I think I have identified the major culprit, a virus that we are all vulnerable to. The dictionary refers to the virus as "anticipating, looking forward to, supposing something obliged." It is the EXPECT virus. We expect something to happen in the future because we think it ought to happen, because we want it to happen, , because we think it is due us. And when it doesn't happen, wham! the virus strikes with disappointment, disgust, despair.

The EXPECT virus comes in many stripes:

You expected to be married by now.

You expected that by this time in your life you wouldn't have to worry about money.

You didn't think there would be traffic.

You didn't expect it to rain on your vacation.

You expect that after all you've done for the kids, they would call more often.

You expected your business to pick up faster.

(This being the 69th post on this blog, I can't resist) You expected to have sex last night.

And on and on. The EXPECT virus is rampant, all over, in epidemic proportions. It forever lurks close, waiting to pounce.

Is there a readily available antidote? Yes, you already have it. It is in your mind:

DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING OF YOURSELF OR OF OTHERS. NADA.

Wish for, hope for, long for, pray for. But don't expect. You are not omniscient, you can't know the future. You are not omnipotent, you cannot control the future.

Open your mind to the unknowns of tomorrow. Welcome them. Delight in the surprises of that which is around the bend. Carpe the diem whatever the diem may bring. Remember that probably yes includes possibly no, likely includes maybe not, rarely includes sometimes.

Need an expectation of some sort to keep going? Here's the one that will never ever harm you:

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.