I have always been curious as to why married people wear wedding rings. It seemS a strange custom. I understand that years and years ago, it symbolized a commitment to marital fidelity, and in some countries the value of the ring represented a monetary endowment. Today, I think, it is used more as an announcement... that the wearer is taken, maritally and sexually speaking.
But since probably less than 1/100th of 1% of the people you meet have any pressing need or desire to know if you are sexually available, and since there is the far less costly invention of language to convey that tidbit of information, what is the purpose of making the announcement?
But this post is not arguing for the abolition of wedding rings. Quite the contrary. If the purpose of wearing a ring is to reveal something important about yourself that others ought know, then I propose we each, married or not, wear ten rings, one on each finger, to announce the following with indicated specificity:
1. RELIGION (christian, jewish, buddhist, muslim, agnostic, atheist)
2. SEXUAL ORIENTATION (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual)
3. DESIRED FREQUENCY OF SEXUAL BEHAVIOR (once daily, once weekly, on holidays only)
4. OCCUPATION (doctor, lawyer, indian chief)
5. FINANCIAL STATUS (rich, poor, somewhere in the middle)
6. AGE (under 40, in prime time, senior, archaic)
7. POLITICAL PERSPECTIVE (capitalist, socialist, fascist, communist, anarchist, terrorist)
8. DIETARY HABIT (carnivore, vegetarian, health nut)
9. PRESENT MOOD (serene, anxious, depressed, none of your business)
10. MARITAL STATUS (taken, taken but looking, not taken and desperate)
Yes, those rings will cost a little bit. But think of all the conversation that will be saved by the mere flashing of your dazzling, bejeweled ringed fingers...conversation that likely pollutes the planet more than all the gasoline we spew into the atmosphere.
In another post, I will identify the intriguing information that will be revealed by the ten rings to be worn on your toes.
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