THE UPS AND DOWNS LISTS

The recent series of stories of celebrities acting in bizarre and unexpected ways..."I didn't know they were like that, how could they do those things?r"...brought me to the subject of Principles and why they are where the answer to that question may be found.

A principle is a general statement that expresses a guideline for how life should be lived. Like, "One should always tell the truth" or "One should always tell the truth unless it will hurt someone you love" or "One should always tell the truth unless you have something to gain by lying".

There are principles about all aspects of life...personal relationships, business,politics, etc...and we all have them because, without them, it would be difficult to know, and time-consuming to figure out, how we should act in every situation we find ourselves in.

Where did we get them from? Parents, teachers, ministers, movies, etc. As a general rule, we adopted them haphazardly and without much independent thought..."it sounded right", "I heard it over and over when I was a kid", "most people live that way".

And therein, as Wil would say, is the rub. What was almost never considered, as a principle was about to be accepted as a way of life, was PRECISELY what benefits it would bring to our life if we adhered to it...and PRECISELY what damages it would cause to our lives if we violated it.

Go ahead. Test that out. Take a sheet of blank paper, write at the top any principle you hold, and then list 5 specific benefits you gain by living by that principle, and 5 specific ways you would be harmed if you chose not to live by it. Easy or hard to do?

In my view, the prime reason those celebrities, and many of us, abandon our principles from time to time is that they and we would have trouble with those lists. You will likely never intentionally ingest poison because you clearly know the downside and you want no part of it. You know you should not abuse those you love because you know the upside of having that love in your life and the downside of losing it. But are the lists for why you should have integrity, clear to you? Or why you shouldn't commit undisclosed adultery? Or why "It is ok to steal from the rich to give to the poor" is not a life nurturing principle?

Don't blame yourself for not knowing all the ups and downs, at least not until now. You were likely never taught them, and likely never thought about them, never even told they were important to know.

But that is in the past. It behooves you now to examine your principles, prove to yourself they are the desirable ones for you to live by, or speak with someone who can help you with that proof, and then place them in a secure place in your mind and confidently get on with your life.