TIME FOR THAT TALK

I wrote a bok a few years ago titled "Awakening the Real You" which set out the way to live a healthy and happy lifestyle. Imagine if I told you that the book was Divinely inspired, and the elements comprising that lifestyle must be adhered to under threat of eternal damnation. What would you say?

After you stopped laughing, you would likely say that if I were serious, I was certifiably crazy, and recommend I check myself into a mental institution for an extended stay. And you would be...right.

But isn't that exactly what the Bible, in all its various forms, is? Books written by a host of different writers thousands of years ago, laying claim to Almighty authorship. The books are loaded with contradictions, unbelievable stories, impossibilities and childish fantasy.

I mean, a talking walking serpent?...two of each animal in an ark?...living in the whale?...turning into a pillar of salt?..splitting of the Red Sea?....walking on water?...rising from the dead?...a few provisions feeding 5,000?...living for 930 years? Please. If your 8-year old child came home and told you those stories, you'd say to your dear child, "It's time we had a serious talk. There really is no Santa Claus."

But those who want to believe (key word, "want"), seem to have no trouble setting aside their reasoning and accepting the unacceptable. When something in the Bible is too unacceptable even for the "wanters," they come up with "words used thousands of years ago had different meanings than they do today," "the Bible can't all be read literally," and "those who doubt have doubt have no faith and are heading to Hell." Convenient. Interpret the Bible as you wish. Believe what you want to believe. Accept this story literally, that one allegorically, the other one figuratively, but accept or the fiery destination awaits.

So how do the "wanters" worship a God that approves of slavery, stoning nonbelievers to death, exalted men treating their wives as second class citizens, the slaughtering of whole tribes, the killing of innocent firstborn, etc.? With a flip "Times were different then." Now, of course, times were different then, and man had to learn things. But surely God already knew them, no?

And of course, there are things to learn from Biblical stories, as there are from the Pinocchio, Peter Pan and Punch and Judy stories. But isn't it about time we had that serious talk?