Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
AMERICAN DREAM OR AMERICAN SCREAM?
The single most influential factor on our lifestyle today may well be the innocent looking, taken for granted, The House.
When I was younger, other than farmers and those living in remote areas, it was generally the wealthy and some upper middle class folk who owned houses, which were seen as a sign of achievement and succeass. The rest rented apartments.
Today, the desire---yea, the seeming need--to own a house has spread like an out of control plague to affect almost all. Newlyweds starting out purchase houses before they have established themselves in the workforce. Owning a house has moved high on the list of what represents the American Dream. Today, it is not so much the house owner who is perceived as successful as often as it is the apartment dweller who is perceived as the unsuccessful.
Now, to be sure, there are potential advantages to house ownership: a greater sense of having roots in and of belonging to a community, more spacious accommodations, heightened sense of privacy, etc.
The question I address here is: AT WHAT COST?...a question that from my observation is rarely asked nor answered today.
Here is my ever growing list of costs:
* lawyer's fee for the purchase
* down payment, normally 20% of the purchase price
* monthly mortgage payments (eg, $300,000 mortgage, $1,755 per month for 25 years; total payments $526,500)
* real estate taxes
* fuel costs, often dependent on international crises
* electric bills
* plumbing repairs
* multiple telephone and extension charges
* property maintenance costs, including lawn care, driveway repairs, etc.
* property damage costs arising from normal wear and tear, forces of nature (wind, rain, snow), vandalism, etc.
* house, fire and liability insurance premiums
* vulnerability to decline in value of house due to change in character of neighborhood
* vulnerability to having to sell quickly and at an inopportune time for health reasons, change in job location or marital status, etc.
* vulnerability to having to remain at an undesirable job to avoid foreclosure
* lawyer's fee for the sale
* and, perhaps most costly, the hours and hours of time, and the stress, to oversee and manage all of the above.
Compare that to the short term commitment to the rental of a significantly lower priced, landlord-maintained apartment.
More time for leisure, for learning, for avocations, for exploration, for adventure, for personal relationships, for communion with nature, for spiritual reflection.
Do you own The House or does The House own you?
When I was younger, other than farmers and those living in remote areas, it was generally the wealthy and some upper middle class folk who owned houses, which were seen as a sign of achievement and succeass. The rest rented apartments.
Today, the desire---yea, the seeming need--to own a house has spread like an out of control plague to affect almost all. Newlyweds starting out purchase houses before they have established themselves in the workforce. Owning a house has moved high on the list of what represents the American Dream. Today, it is not so much the house owner who is perceived as successful as often as it is the apartment dweller who is perceived as the unsuccessful.
Now, to be sure, there are potential advantages to house ownership: a greater sense of having roots in and of belonging to a community, more spacious accommodations, heightened sense of privacy, etc.
The question I address here is: AT WHAT COST?...a question that from my observation is rarely asked nor answered today.
Here is my ever growing list of costs:
* lawyer's fee for the purchase
* down payment, normally 20% of the purchase price
* monthly mortgage payments (eg, $300,000 mortgage, $1,755 per month for 25 years; total payments $526,500)
* real estate taxes
* fuel costs, often dependent on international crises
* electric bills
* plumbing repairs
* multiple telephone and extension charges
* property maintenance costs, including lawn care, driveway repairs, etc.
* property damage costs arising from normal wear and tear, forces of nature (wind, rain, snow), vandalism, etc.
* house, fire and liability insurance premiums
* vulnerability to decline in value of house due to change in character of neighborhood
* vulnerability to having to sell quickly and at an inopportune time for health reasons, change in job location or marital status, etc.
* vulnerability to having to remain at an undesirable job to avoid foreclosure
* lawyer's fee for the sale
* and, perhaps most costly, the hours and hours of time, and the stress, to oversee and manage all of the above.
Compare that to the short term commitment to the rental of a significantly lower priced, landlord-maintained apartment.
More time for leisure, for learning, for avocations, for exploration, for adventure, for personal relationships, for communion with nature, for spiritual reflection.
Do you own The House or does The House own you?
HUH?
From the "Overheard Recently" file
..........................................................
And God said "I give you dominion over all animals, to care for them and to see that my creations do not become extinct".
Your order, please.
I’ll have a shrimp cocktail, chicken soup, and the steak and lobster combo special.
..........................................................
How should we fight terrorism, Senator?
We should be firm but not hard, somewhat slack but not soft, not too rigid, a bit loose, solid but less sturdy than dense, and we should converse but not spout, assert without alleging, tell but not reveal, negotiate without bargaining and bargain without differing, dissenting without disagreeing, surrender with no capitulation, submitting but not succumbing, changing without deviating, altering but not varying, to some extent but not too little or too much, more or less, somewhat, sometimes, usually, but not often, at times, generally.
..........................................................
Tom, would you like chocolate cake on your birthday next month?
Mom, how could I possibly know what I'm gonna want next month?
Tom, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife ‘til death do you part?
I do.
.........................................................
You can never be certain of anything.
Professor, are you sure of that?
.........................................................
Every rule has an exception.
Then that rule has an exception, too.
..
Yup.
So not every rule has an exception.
Yup, but it's the exception that proves the rule.
So, if a rule doesn't have an exception...that is, it is always true...then it can't be proven to be true.
Yup.
And the only rule that can be proven to be true is the rule that is not always true.
Yup.
...........................................................
There she is, the Statue of Liberty.
What a beauty!
Do you think people should be free not to have health insurance?
No, they need it.
Should people be free to smoke marijuana?
No, it's bad for them.
Do you support the military draft?
Of course, you've got to do your duty whether you like it or not.
Should homosexuals be free to marry?
No, it's just not right.
Do you favor requiring big business to produce it's goods here in America?
Absolutely, American workers need jobs.
There she is, the Statue of Liberty.
What a beauty! A symbol of what makes America great.
.........................................................
..........................................................
And God said "I give you dominion over all animals, to care for them and to see that my creations do not become extinct".
Your order, please.
I’ll have a shrimp cocktail, chicken soup, and the steak and lobster combo special.
..........................................................
How should we fight terrorism, Senator?
We should be firm but not hard, somewhat slack but not soft, not too rigid, a bit loose, solid but less sturdy than dense, and we should converse but not spout, assert without alleging, tell but not reveal, negotiate without bargaining and bargain without differing, dissenting without disagreeing, surrender with no capitulation, submitting but not succumbing, changing without deviating, altering but not varying, to some extent but not too little or too much, more or less, somewhat, sometimes, usually, but not often, at times, generally.
..........................................................
Tom, would you like chocolate cake on your birthday next month?
Mom, how could I possibly know what I'm gonna want next month?
Tom, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife ‘til death do you part?
I do.
.........................................................
You can never be certain of anything.
Professor, are you sure of that?
.........................................................
Every rule has an exception.
Then that rule has an exception, too.
..
Yup.
So not every rule has an exception.
Yup, but it's the exception that proves the rule.
So, if a rule doesn't have an exception...that is, it is always true...then it can't be proven to be true.
Yup.
And the only rule that can be proven to be true is the rule that is not always true.
Yup.
...........................................................
There she is, the Statue of Liberty.
What a beauty!
Do you think people should be free not to have health insurance?
No, they need it.
Should people be free to smoke marijuana?
No, it's bad for them.
Do you support the military draft?
Of course, you've got to do your duty whether you like it or not.
Should homosexuals be free to marry?
No, it's just not right.
Do you favor requiring big business to produce it's goods here in America?
Absolutely, American workers need jobs.
There she is, the Statue of Liberty.
What a beauty! A symbol of what makes America great.
.........................................................
Monday, December 21, 2009
ONE OVERALL GRADE
I am intrigued and a bit mystified by the seemingly large number of people who can say something like this:
"If the allegations of repeated sexual indiscretions, deceit and lying, being made against Tiger Woods turn out to be true, as now appears, I would think that he acted reprehensibly and irresponsibly, and even immorally, in his personal life -- but I can still enjoy watching him play, admire him as the great golfer that he is, and root for him to win. What he does in his personal life is his business, not mine."
Not me. Is Tiger Woods a great golfer? Of course, maybe the best ever. And I can separate his, or any person's, personal life from other aspects of his life, provided the immoral things he does do not foreseeably harms only himself and not others. If they harm only himself, they are none of my business and I can disregard them. But if the immoral things spill over and harm others, I am no longer capable of admiring him for his performance in one aspect of his life while denigrating his performance in another. I treat him as one entity, one being, and I judge the totality of him and assign him one grade. In Woods' case: F.
Tiger Woods' transgressions harmed and is harming others, and he had to foresee that. His lies caused his wife, Elin, to live in unreality, where there are no values to be had. His deceit destroyed the trust she had in him, trust pivotal to a good marriage and to her happiness. His reckless unprotected sex with call girls during the same time he had relations with his wife, placed his wife at an unacceptable risk of disease. He likely seriously bruised her confidence and self esteem. He set a poor example for his children (who will learn all about this when they get older) of the honorable and moral way to live life: fulfilling obligations, being truthful and honest, respecting and treating beneficently the lives of those you purport to love.
Morality is a code of pro life conduct and my philosophy helps prove that. One of the rewards a moral person earns is my support and admiration. I do not buy from shopkeepers I know to be harmfully immoral. I do not buy a ticket to see a movie, no matter how highly rated, starring that popular actor who verbally assaulted and abused his young daughter. I do not invite the harmfully immoral to my home. I do not vote for them to hold public office. I do not respect them. I root for the moral to win and the immoral to lose.
To do otherwise, would dangerously lessen the distinction between good and evil.
"If the allegations of repeated sexual indiscretions, deceit and lying, being made against Tiger Woods turn out to be true, as now appears, I would think that he acted reprehensibly and irresponsibly, and even immorally, in his personal life -- but I can still enjoy watching him play, admire him as the great golfer that he is, and root for him to win. What he does in his personal life is his business, not mine."
Not me. Is Tiger Woods a great golfer? Of course, maybe the best ever. And I can separate his, or any person's, personal life from other aspects of his life, provided the immoral things he does do not foreseeably harms only himself and not others. If they harm only himself, they are none of my business and I can disregard them. But if the immoral things spill over and harm others, I am no longer capable of admiring him for his performance in one aspect of his life while denigrating his performance in another. I treat him as one entity, one being, and I judge the totality of him and assign him one grade. In Woods' case: F.
Tiger Woods' transgressions harmed and is harming others, and he had to foresee that. His lies caused his wife, Elin, to live in unreality, where there are no values to be had. His deceit destroyed the trust she had in him, trust pivotal to a good marriage and to her happiness. His reckless unprotected sex with call girls during the same time he had relations with his wife, placed his wife at an unacceptable risk of disease. He likely seriously bruised her confidence and self esteem. He set a poor example for his children (who will learn all about this when they get older) of the honorable and moral way to live life: fulfilling obligations, being truthful and honest, respecting and treating beneficently the lives of those you purport to love.
Morality is a code of pro life conduct and my philosophy helps prove that. One of the rewards a moral person earns is my support and admiration. I do not buy from shopkeepers I know to be harmfully immoral. I do not buy a ticket to see a movie, no matter how highly rated, starring that popular actor who verbally assaulted and abused his young daughter. I do not invite the harmfully immoral to my home. I do not vote for them to hold public office. I do not respect them. I root for the moral to win and the immoral to lose.
To do otherwise, would dangerously lessen the distinction between good and evil.
ATTENHUT! THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
The now traditional Christmas in Washinton show, held at the National Museum Building, was attended last week by the President and First Lady and about 500 other Washington dignitaries and celebrities. A host of singers performed familiar Christmas tunes, George Lopez mc'd the colorful show and everyone seemed to be enjoying ushering in the holiday.
The problem was, it was held in the wrong venue. 150,000 American men and women were risking their lives in defense of our nation in Iraq and Afghanistan at the very moment Neil Diamond began singing Cherry, Cherry...and some may have no longer been alive when he finished it. We are at war but day by day our focus on it wanes. A roadside explosion overturning a Jeep and killing four gets a couple of minutes of our attention ...and then, poof, it is gone.
The expenditure of government funds in celebration of but one of a number of religious holidays celebrated in America may, in fact, be a violation of the separation clause in the Constitution. I don't care about that. The show was festive and inspiring.
But it should have been held not in our capital but in a concert hall or a mess hall in Iraq or Afghanistan, or on a battleship in the Persian Gulf, in front of as many of our brave warriors as possible. As Commander in Chief, the President should have flown to the combat area and addressed our forces, to lift their morale and to personally pledge to each of them, and to assure them of, America's unswerving commitment to victory.
Fifty some years ago, I was a soldier in the audience when Bob Hope and his humor, and Cardinal Spellman and his prayers, came to Korea to uplift our spirits. They got it right, and I shall forever thank them in my heart.
The President flew to Copenhagen recently to support the war against a questionable global warming enemy. He should have flown instead (as well) to the Middle East to support the war against an enemy we have identified.
Blessings to all those who risk their lives so that we may live our lives in freedom and peace.
The problem was, it was held in the wrong venue. 150,000 American men and women were risking their lives in defense of our nation in Iraq and Afghanistan at the very moment Neil Diamond began singing Cherry, Cherry...and some may have no longer been alive when he finished it. We are at war but day by day our focus on it wanes. A roadside explosion overturning a Jeep and killing four gets a couple of minutes of our attention ...and then, poof, it is gone.
The expenditure of government funds in celebration of but one of a number of religious holidays celebrated in America may, in fact, be a violation of the separation clause in the Constitution. I don't care about that. The show was festive and inspiring.
But it should have been held not in our capital but in a concert hall or a mess hall in Iraq or Afghanistan, or on a battleship in the Persian Gulf, in front of as many of our brave warriors as possible. As Commander in Chief, the President should have flown to the combat area and addressed our forces, to lift their morale and to personally pledge to each of them, and to assure them of, America's unswerving commitment to victory.
Fifty some years ago, I was a soldier in the audience when Bob Hope and his humor, and Cardinal Spellman and his prayers, came to Korea to uplift our spirits. They got it right, and I shall forever thank them in my heart.
The President flew to Copenhagen recently to support the war against a questionable global warming enemy. He should have flown instead (as well) to the Middle East to support the war against an enemy we have identified.
Blessings to all those who risk their lives so that we may live our lives in freedom and peace.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
THE SHAME OF IT ALL
We suffer from a painful and debilitating emotional disease: embarrassment -- the feeling that our conduct has not measured up to our accepted standards of behavior. The disease comes with varying severity, embarrassment being the mildest, usually involving a minor impropriety, failure or infractions. With regard to more significant standards and matters, the disease may rise to the level of shame, or even mortification. There are also various hybrids of the disease, including humiliation (when the disapproval of others is an added element) and chagrin (when humiliation is mixed with anger).
Since the disease comes from the failure to act in accord with a standard, an important factor to examine is whether it is in fact the right standard to live by. Many standards that we hold were not chosen by us directly, but were ingrained in us by family, teachers and religion when we were young, imposed on us by society, and accepted by us without much thinking. All of those standards ought be examined and evaluated in terms of your personal values and virtues.
Another contributing cause to this disease is our common failure to recognize that we are not omniscient nor infallible...that concomitant with our ability to choose our behavior is our ability to choose incorrectly...that as humans we may feel lazy when we "know" we ought be productive, angry when we "know" we ought be compassionate, etc.
We are not automatized robots but the most complex, intricate and advanced form of life. We have no buttons to be pushed that will guarantee we meet or exceed our standards.
That is not to suggest that we abandon all standards of behavior and live with an "anything goes/I don't give a damn" attitude. That would be devastating to the nature of the species that we are. We are likely never to be perfect in all that we do. That fact of life must be included in our evaluation of what we have done.
Of all the things you will judge and evaluate in the world, none is more important than you, So the next time you feel the disease coming on, here is the antidote:
Examine the unmet standard and confirm whether it is the right one for you to live by. If it isn't, there is no disease. If it is, recognize the totality of what and who you are, feel pride and self-respect for all of the times you met your standard, make appropriate amends to those you may have harmed...and kiss the disease goodbye!
Since the disease comes from the failure to act in accord with a standard, an important factor to examine is whether it is in fact the right standard to live by. Many standards that we hold were not chosen by us directly, but were ingrained in us by family, teachers and religion when we were young, imposed on us by society, and accepted by us without much thinking. All of those standards ought be examined and evaluated in terms of your personal values and virtues.
Another contributing cause to this disease is our common failure to recognize that we are not omniscient nor infallible...that concomitant with our ability to choose our behavior is our ability to choose incorrectly...that as humans we may feel lazy when we "know" we ought be productive, angry when we "know" we ought be compassionate, etc.
We are not automatized robots but the most complex, intricate and advanced form of life. We have no buttons to be pushed that will guarantee we meet or exceed our standards.
That is not to suggest that we abandon all standards of behavior and live with an "anything goes/I don't give a damn" attitude. That would be devastating to the nature of the species that we are. We are likely never to be perfect in all that we do. That fact of life must be included in our evaluation of what we have done.
Of all the things you will judge and evaluate in the world, none is more important than you, So the next time you feel the disease coming on, here is the antidote:
Examine the unmet standard and confirm whether it is the right one for you to live by. If it isn't, there is no disease. If it is, recognize the totality of what and who you are, feel pride and self-respect for all of the times you met your standard, make appropriate amends to those you may have harmed...and kiss the disease goodbye!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
2012, OR THE THING ABOUT WORRY IS
by Jeanne Marie
A few years ago, I was worried about something. I don’t remember what. That’s the funny thing about worry. Time erases it.
Anyway, I was worried about something…but then I walked out into the yard. It was night. An eclipse of the moon was beginning. As I stood and watched it, I couldn’t help but think how small my concern was. I was watching a phenomenon of the Universe. Something over which I had absolutely zero control. It was going to happen whether I stood and enjoyed it or not. Even if I wished for it to not happen, or wished for it to be on another day, or fretted over why it didn’t happen when the sky was without cloud, I could not change one thing about what the Universe was doing. I could, however, change what I was doing. I could stop everything, including my worrying, and simply bask in the joy of the experience and the absolute wonder of it.
I’m fond of telling others that 99% of what we worry about, never happens. And – that other 1% -- well – you will never even imagine it, never see it coming, and usually, it will break your heart. But all the worry/fear that I or another may do will never change the fact that the Universe changes. In fact, change in life is the only thing you can really count on. My fear, your fear will do nothing to cause change. It will only bind us up in a prison of our own making.
Recently I saw the movie 2012. Oh dear! It was colossal. It was stupendous. It was earthquakes and fire and death and destruction. It was “warning” us that the world will end because the planets are going to align.
I didn’t know whether it was supposed to be a horror movie or a comedy. Truly. I didn’t know.
I do know it was intended to scare me into thinking I only had two more years of life as I know it.
So what?
Even if it is true, what can I do about it? Is there really anything that I -- or any of us --can do to stop the planets from aligning? Am I truly supposed to stop all freedom, all joy, all serenity, all peace, all bliss and do nothing but prepare for the demise of the earth?
How silly.
I intend to live normally. Appreciate sunrises and sunsets, clouds and sunshine, clear days and rainy days, budding trees and dormant trees…every day…until my spirit leaves my body. If that happens to be on 12/21/12, so be it. When I go, I will be out there looking up at the sky, watching the Universe do “her thing”! And, my last breath will be filled with wonder and excitement and awe.
A few years ago, I was worried about something. I don’t remember what. That’s the funny thing about worry. Time erases it.
Anyway, I was worried about something…but then I walked out into the yard. It was night. An eclipse of the moon was beginning. As I stood and watched it, I couldn’t help but think how small my concern was. I was watching a phenomenon of the Universe. Something over which I had absolutely zero control. It was going to happen whether I stood and enjoyed it or not. Even if I wished for it to not happen, or wished for it to be on another day, or fretted over why it didn’t happen when the sky was without cloud, I could not change one thing about what the Universe was doing. I could, however, change what I was doing. I could stop everything, including my worrying, and simply bask in the joy of the experience and the absolute wonder of it.
I’m fond of telling others that 99% of what we worry about, never happens. And – that other 1% -- well – you will never even imagine it, never see it coming, and usually, it will break your heart. But all the worry/fear that I or another may do will never change the fact that the Universe changes. In fact, change in life is the only thing you can really count on. My fear, your fear will do nothing to cause change. It will only bind us up in a prison of our own making.
Recently I saw the movie 2012. Oh dear! It was colossal. It was stupendous. It was earthquakes and fire and death and destruction. It was “warning” us that the world will end because the planets are going to align.
I didn’t know whether it was supposed to be a horror movie or a comedy. Truly. I didn’t know.
I do know it was intended to scare me into thinking I only had two more years of life as I know it.
So what?
Even if it is true, what can I do about it? Is there really anything that I -- or any of us --can do to stop the planets from aligning? Am I truly supposed to stop all freedom, all joy, all serenity, all peace, all bliss and do nothing but prepare for the demise of the earth?
How silly.
I intend to live normally. Appreciate sunrises and sunsets, clouds and sunshine, clear days and rainy days, budding trees and dormant trees…every day…until my spirit leaves my body. If that happens to be on 12/21/12, so be it. When I go, I will be out there looking up at the sky, watching the Universe do “her thing”! And, my last breath will be filled with wonder and excitement and awe.
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