CYBER-SENSE

A recent case brought my attention to the subject of cyber-bullying, the disseminating via text messaging, emails or other digital technologies,of pejorative or sexual remarks designed to ridicule, harass and harm the victim.

Younger and younger children, some in elementary school are doing it, and are doing it with greater and greater frequency. The effects of cyber-bullying, aside from emotional embarrassment and stress, can be social isolation, inability to attend school, and even suicide. Groups have cropped up around the country to fight this new "menace". Some states have passed laws, also introduced in a number of others and on the federal level, that make cyber-bullying a crime, and to expand the authority of schools to punish cyber-bullies. Lawsuits instituted by the families of victims abugainst bullies are increasing.

Now, cyber-bullying is repulsive, disgusting, shameful and offensive. No question about that and those who engage in it ought be condemned. But there are perspectives on it that are not frequently heard:

1. Properly understood, all crimes entail the use of physical force (or some activity tantamount to it) against another person. The reason for that is absent force, the victim's right to be free and to live life as he or she chooses, has not been curtailrd. And we have laws on the books to punish those who perform criminal acts. No new laws are needed. Unless and until the bullying rises to the level of a threat of the use of immediate physical force against the victim, there is no crime.

2. There are slander and libel laws on the books in every jurisdiction that make those who publish defamatory remarks, or who violate someon's right to privacy (say, by the unauthorized posting of nude pictures),responsible for the damages they cause. No new laws are needed.

3. The bully enjoys freedom of thought, including the right to have a bad opinion of someone. The bully also enjoys freedom of speech, the right to voice or text those opinions.

4. Schools are institutions of learning. They should be encouraged to teach students the objectionableness of cyber-bullying, why it is not in the interest of the bully to be a bully,and to teach victims ways to cope with it...rather than focusing on punishment. Further, they should teach students that it is their chosen actions that determine who they are, and their self esteem, and not the invidious rantingsa of others.

5. The victim has choices: confront the bully, cyber-respond to the nully, and perhaps the most potent of all, IGNORE THE BULLY. The bully often has low self esteem and , subconsciously, seeks to enhance it by exerting power over the victim. Ignoring the bully, makes him impotent.

Let's stop the madcap rush to lawsuits. Let's toughen our skins up a bit by learning how to deal with animosities and assaults against us, and how not to be derailed in the pursuit of our dreams and the enrichment of our lives.

ON SUCCESS AND FAILURE

HOWELL...
There's dignity in suffering, nobility in pain; but failure is a salted wound that burns again and again.

HUBBARD...
A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience.

JAMES...
The moral flabbiness born of the exclusive worship of the bitch-goddess Success. That--with the squalid cash interpretation put on the word success--is our national disease.

MORLEY...
There is only one success--to be able to spend your life your own way.

HARE...
Half the failures in life arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping.

DRYDEN...
If you are alive, you are a success.

LUSTIKA...
Success teaches you what to do next time, failure teaches you what not to do next time. Two good teachers.

BRACCUS...
Success and happiness are the same word, spelled differently.

CHURCHILL...
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

VANDERKAMP...
Success should cost more than failure...greater demand, lower supply. But failure costs more.

UPMANN...
It's been said genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. That's the same formula for success.

KETTERING...
One fails forward toward success.

BROWN...
Failure is an event, never a person.

BRAULT...
Just once it might be instructive to pretend you're accepting an award for failure, just to see who you would thank.

ADAMS...
Sucess has made a failure out of a lot of men.

TRAYMAN...
If you are on the wrong path, failure is better than success.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

The scenario is always the same. Some government official verbalizes a perceived "problem"--not everyone can afford health insurance, there is a rise in home foreclosures, not everyone can find employment. The "problem" is then repeated over and over again in the media by other members of the same political part, and it is amplified to crisis proportions. The next step is the introduction of extensive legislation to "solve the problem", legislation loaded with new government controls and restraints over that sector of our nation that has the perceived "problem".

The problem with this scenario is that there is no problem in the forst place. There is no prescribed, preordained level which our society must reach and at which it must remain, There is nothing commanded as to what maximum health insurance premiums may be, or whent home foreclosures are not tolerable, or what level of unemployment is acceptable.

America was intended to be a free society, was designed to be a free society, and millions have fought and died so that it would remain free. The essence of a free society is that each of us is free to make our own individual choices regarding every facet of this one life we each have...where we live, what and how much work we care to do, with whom we associate, how much and on what we spend our money, etc. Our only obligation: to respect the rights of all others to their equal freedom.

In a free society, que sera, sera...what will be, will be, what happens, happens. Once the government provides us with a free society in which to live, it has provided us with everything that America is about.

If I raise my gun and demand your money, the government may properly step in to protect your freedom to possess your money and give it to whom you freely wish. If you are struck by lightning and become destitute, that is not a societal problem. It is your personal problem...and the government may not properly deny me my freedom and force me to give you some of my money.

Want to help those who are destitute, ill and cannot afford medical care, otherwise hurting and in need? That would be a humanitarian thing to do. Devote time and/or money to the existing charity of your choice, or set up a new one to which people may voluntarily contribute. Many before you have done so and have contributed mightily, and properly, to help solve perceived societal problems. In America, you are free to do that. You are also free to leave America and emigrate to a country that has laws and a government-run society structure more to your liking.

If there is a problem in the scenario I refer to in the first paragraph above, it is in the implementation of legislation that fails to recognize our individual freedoms and violates the American ideal.

ADAGES COME AND GO

When I was younger I was taught and believed the adage:

"Women and children first"...until I realized it implied "Men second", and I am second to no one.

"All's fair in love and war"...until I realized that without trust and truth there is no love.

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do"...until I realized a man's gotta do nuttin'.

"A picture's worth a thousand words"...until I read "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

"Everything in moderation"...until I realized that love and freedom do not come in moderation.

"Experience is the best teacher"...until I heard Ayn Rand give a speech.

"Genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration"...until I realized it is also 50% determination.

"If passion drives, let reason hold the reins"...until I realized that reason frees and fuels passion.

"Lightning never strikes twice in the same place"...until I had my second beautiful child.

"The love of money is the root of all evil"...until I realized it's the love of someone else's money.

WERE YOU A PATRIOT?

Would you have voluntarily fought with the American colonists in the Revolutionary War, a war that lasted eight years against the British Empire, the strongest force in the world?

Would you have voluntarily given up your comfortable life in the country with the highest standard of living in the world, and left your family anf career to carry a gun and fight?

Would you have voluntarily risked death for your principles?

Would you have participated in the Boston Tea Party?

Would you have signed The Declaration of Independence and pledged your life, your fortune and your sacred honor, to fight for freedom for yourself and your posterity?

And if you had been killed, as 8,000 of you were killed in battle in that war, do you think your death would have been worthwhile?

Were you an American Patriot who answered Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes?

THE TIME FOR TALK IS OVER

America is on a cataclysmic self destructive course:

* Massive expansion of the federal government and a concomitant lessening, if not outright destruction, of our infividul freedoms to choose the course of our lives.

* Massive increase of our national debt, risking the viability of our economy, mortgaging our lives and foreclosing on our future.

* Engaging in foreign wars without any sense of how to win them, costing us lives and national pride and morale, and impairing our national defense.

* Psychologically and financially undertaking without restraint the problems of the world while being incapable of resolving our own.

* Obliterating the founding American ideal of the sovereignty of each individual and replacing it with the horrors and restraints and duties of global collectivism.

To date, the internal defense against the pending collapse of America has been but vocal, rhetoric in Congress and in the media. And though it may have slowed a bit our country's demise as a nation of personal expression and hope and unlimited potential, the onslaught relentlessly continues. History tells us what must be done.

In Biblical days, the Jewish people escaped enslavement by an exodus from Egypt.

When early Americans found themselves to be under despotic and tyrranical rule, they declared it "their Right...their Duty, to throw off such Government" and revolted.

When the South felt that its views of slavery (wrong as they were) and of states' rights were threatened by the North, it seceded from the Union.

When Rosa Parks felt that her life was not valued and her rights not recgnized by the government, she refused to move to the back of the bus, and changed our history.

I, for one, am not willing to allow the government to tell me how I must live my life and that I am but a pawn in servitude to the collective, what benefits I may purchase and enjoy, how my money will be forcefully taken from me and given to others, how my children's lives will be constrained and burdened by unConstitutionally imposed obligations, how my fellow citizens must die in undeclared wars that are fought as determined by untrained, unknowledgeable, civilian officials who make politically motivated decisions, and more.

The time for talk is over.

EYES ON THE PRIZE

An oft-repeated admonition is in regard to the importance of keeping your eyes on the prize...on your desired goal or reward...the hoped for payoff of your effort. The idea is thar the prize will provide you with the incentive and impetus to continue your quest in the face of obstacles, hardships and setbacks.

And that is good advice when the prize is a concrete one: a beautiful car, a large bank account, a grand home. Those are easy to be seen.

But what of prizes that are not tangible...like happiness, love, confidence, courage, self esteem. If you want to keep your eyes on those prizes, where do you look?

Some would suggest that you cast your gaze at others who have attained those prizes. That approach may occasionally work, but it often gets entwined with jealousy, contempt, antipathy, suspicion, and resentment...all of which serve to lower self esteem and make it more difficult to maintain the effort and commitment necessary to win those abstract prizes.

Some would suggest that you cast your gaze inward to see what errors you made, what wrong turns you took, that placed those prizes as yet out of your reach. That approach may occasionally work, but it often gets derailed by regret, remorse, feelings of ineptitude, even self loathing, that lessen self esteem, etc. etc.

My advice? Stop trying to see the unseeable. Happiness, confidence, courage and the like are not purchaseable at the supermarket. They are the intangible and invaluable rewards that come to you automatically from doing your best at:

* living your life your way in accordance with your standards

. being true to who you are in every choice you make

* measuring your success by the quality of your effort and not by the response of others to it.

Abstract prizes require you to focus not on them, but on what they are the effects of.